Jokes

I try to be humorous or funny in most of my posting/pages.

If you don’t feel humor/can’t laugh , in my opinion it is a warning sign one might be “mentally ill”, whatever that is.

If you laugh at the wrong thing, “wrong” punchline you may also be judged mentally ill based on that emotional reaction. I can do this at the movies, see the set up before it happens and laugh too soon.

Or you could be laughing TOO much, that also gets you judged mentally ill.

Here are some jokes.

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How different religions deal with shit.

# Taoism: Shit happens.
# Buddhism: When shit happens, is it really shit?
# Zen Buddhism : What is the sound of shit happening?
# Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
# Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
# Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
# Protestantism: Shit won’t happen if I work harder.
# Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
# Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
# Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
# Lutheran: If shit happens, don’t talk about it.
# Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
# Calvinism: Shit happens because you don’t work.
# Creationism: God made all shit.
# Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
# Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
# Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
# Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
# Darwinism: This shit was once food.
# Capitalism: That’s MY shit.
# Communism: It’s everybody’s shit.
# Commercialism: Let’s package this shit.
# Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
# Idolism: Let’s bronze this shit.
# Existentialism: Shit doesn’t happen; shit IS.
# Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
# Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
# Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
# Scientology: To detect shit, turn on the E-meter.
# Jehovah’s Witnesses : >Knock< >Knock< May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
# Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
# Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama ding ding.
# Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit!
# Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
# Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
# Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
# Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
# Atheism : I can’t believe this shit!
# Nihilism: No shit.

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Gene Wilder says “Don’t you know I was joking!” joking.wav

and an opposite?

“You have made me angry”

(Getting anger expressed – externalized , or sarcasm to cope with feelings.)
Fear and anger can be diffused by humor.

Music can help as well, but there is angry music , like heavy metal music which can be used in excess to stay unreasonably angry, instead of a cathartic purge of anger. It can also be used to get to the feeling of anger that one needs to feel.

Back to humor.

Humor from song is in Mel Brooks and Adam Sandler.

Humor like Mel Brooks the producers song “Springtime for Hitler”

and the humor of Spaceballs asking “How many assholes do we have on this ship anyways?”

and Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson- I Feel Pretty – Anger Management

and the rest of my page called “Assholes or Idiots?”

Laughing at the monster inside and outside can make the monsters powers greatly diminish.

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I wrote finding power , when we speak for others we can find a power in standing up for justice or what is right.

One can’t be beaten. courage of one convictions.
But there is a point where one must admit failure.
If you take yourself TOO seriously you might appear as the Black knight in Monty Python.

The Black knight was beaten by a madman in Monty Python, but it is a fictional story.

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Advice from Tom Waits ( musician)

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No secrets, no guilty conscious ? better mental health?

Carrie Fisher spills juicy secrets on Broadway
By MARK KENNEDY, Associated Press Writer Mark Kennedy, Associated Press Writer Fri Oct 2, 6:43 am ET

NEW YORK – Carrie Fisher usually kicks off her one-woman show with a delightful story about finding a dead guy in her bed.

Then she asks the audience if they have any questions.

Some eventually do, after getting over their shock and nervousness. Among some of the queries she’s been asked: How did you know he was dead?

“Have you ever seen a dead body?” she’ll answer. “They’re blue and yellow — which are the international colors of death — and they’re really bad conversationalists.”

One audience member once wanted to know if Fisher was nude at the time. “I tell them I haven’t been naked in 15 years and I haven’t been sleeveless in 20,” she says.

As you might guess, Fisher isn’t exactly coy when it comes to revealing details about her unusual life, whether its drug addiction, mental illness, failed relationships or her days wearing hair bagels in “Star Wars.”

Her show, “Wishful Drinking,” which she’s performed on and off across the country since 2006, was turned into a book and makes its way to Broadway this month.

“People relate to aspects of my stories and that’s nice for me because then I’m not all alone with it,” the soon-to-be-53-year-old says in an interview. “Also, I do believe you’re only as sick as your secrets. If that’s true, I’m just really healthy.”

More at the link in the title.

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Winston Rowntree viruscomix.com

From Dr Grumpy in the House

{ Mrs. Freek, I’m so glad Cymbalta at 60mg each day has helped your symptoms.

{ I’m sorry I don’t seem very sympathetic in refusing to write a letter to your insurance company about the drug. Honestly, this stuff ain’t cheap, and you should appreciate that your company is willing to cover it for you at all.

{ The 30mg and 60mg pills cost about the same per pill. So taking two of the 30mg each night, instead of one 60mg, basically doubles the price. And I really don’t have a good reason to tell your insurance that they should pay the higher cost.

{ There might be medical reasons SOME people need this, but “because I like the cute blue & white 30mg, and not the ugly blue & green 60mg” is not one of them.

{ I also appreciate that blue & white are the colors of your alma mater, but again, I don’t think your insurance company is going to feel that justifies them paying twice as much for your pills.

{ And for once I agree with them.

{ Posted by Grumpy, M.D.

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By Patricia Lefave

Focus: Psychiatrists say that if you were REALLY crazy you wouldn’t know it.

Question for psychiatrists: Is psychiatry crazy?

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